“Why do you raise your children in Africa? “
Usually uttered in a slightly bewildered tone, this is a question never ceases to amaze me. Its inference, of course, is “Why Africa, when you have the whole world to choose from”. It’s a question I’m asked all my time, often by someone who has never touched down on African soil.
I’m indignant. “Why wouldn’t I?” My reasons for living here are manifold. My children were born here, these days I feel more African than English. At first, I’m stumped; it’s hard to understand why someone would ask such a question. It takes a few moments to remind myself that the western world has been raised on a diet of Band-Aid clips and stories of corruption and machine-gun touting kids.
Not for the first time I wish that people could look beyond their misconceptions and global stereotypes and see Africa for what it is.
Why live in Kenya?
So why do I live in Africa? Kenya to be exact, although we also spent 6 years in South Africa. It would be too easy to respond with a flippant answer of endless sunny days, turquoise sea, the greatest gathering of wildlife in the world, upscale shopping malls, and Michelin quality food. I mull over my response and when I settle upon an answer I realise that my reason for living here is the same reason that people find it so daunting.
Because it’s a developing country.
Kenya is still relatively free of the demands and high technology way of living of the west. For our children, less technology means less exposure to social media. Less exposure to fashion and celebrity. Less exposure to the latest toys and must-have items. Therefore less peer pressure. Less angst because our kids don’t meet social standards of beauty or cool.
Without social media, our kids aren’t struggling to marry their image of themselves with the impossibly gorgeous images of plastic celebrities. Their benchmarks are their school friends. All as brown as berries and wearing clothes festooned with holes in from tag or biking accidents.
How Kenya can offer your child a better childhood
Kenya is the land of your childhood. After school, our children swim in pools, climb trees and play British Bulldog. They play sports for fun, not to be in a squad, to be cool, to be chosen.
On the weekends and on holidays our kids make fires with Maasai warriors. They learn to string a bow and arrow and the difference between a cheetah print and a lion. They learn to track prey. They learn how to put up a tent and how to sail a boat.
They live a life that isn’t guided by rules and feels limitless. There are no warning signs or safety precautions. The boats they sail are in lakes full of hippos. To survive they learn about the hippos and how to stay away from them. Their campsites aren’t in uniformly boring squares of grass with hot water showers 100 metres away. They camp in the wild. With predators around, and they learn to stay stock still when an elephant walks through a camp, to be as quiet a mouse when a lion roars nearby and the value of fire as a means of protection.
There are no playgrounds here. No parks for them to run around in. The world is their playground. If they want to climb they climb the trees in the forest and watch out for monkeys throwing avocados at their heads. If they want to swing they string ropes from trees and sail through the air. If they want to swim they jump in icy cool streams, making sure there are no crocodiles around first.
When they get older there aren’t many pubs around. If they did manage to get into one then they’d bump into their parents or their parent’s friends. There are no nightclubs except in the centre of town and so those are out of reach.
Conversely, they learn to drive cars young. Sailing their parents beat up 4x4s over dried-up lakebeds and dusty savannah. And they learn to ride. Horses and bikes. And they learn that you often fall off those things, so they learn to get back up and dust themselves down without making a deal of it.
They learn about real life, and what they learn comes from the soul and the salt and the blood-red earth of Kenya. It doesn’t come from their phones and screens, a false image of how life is supposed to be.
Keeping childhood golden
In truth when I think about returning home I feel afraid. Both for myself and my children.
I remember how unhappy I was in my old life. As a marketing manager for a company in central London, my life revolved around what I would wear, what I looked like, where would go at night, was I cool? The weekends were for shopping. THERE IS JUST SO MUCH CONSUMERISM. So much ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’, I’m exhausted just contemplating it. I don’t want my children to grow up in a cycle of self-criticism and unrealistic standards of beauty and achievement. I want them to be happy. To appreciate wide-open spaces. To care about climate change and animal conservation rather than having their ears pierced and copying the Kardashians.
I want them to have the childhood I had. The one all of us had who were born before the 90’s. Where we were allowed to be kids. A dream of childhood. One so faded and fragile that moving to a developing country is perhaps the only way to keep that dream alive. This generation may be the last to grow up unencumbered by technology and the pervasive need to fit in. And so I choose to stay here, in my beloved Africa, not because of the smiles and the sun, the frangipani and the jacaranda, but because here, in Africa, a child can grow up a truly free.
Interested in our changing childhoods, read this article from the BBC
Wow! This is amazing. I guess it’s really nice hearing such from a person who grew up elsewhere. May you enjoy every bit of your stay in this wonderful country.
Wonderful ❤️
A wonderful, inspiring piece. Kenya, is simply a paradise on earth.
Thank you for your kind words.
I believe that too…not always. But sometimes it can be incredible, the natural beauty is a gift
Wow! I have soaked up with delight every word! We kids grew up in Kenya in the late 1950’s and you have mirrored my exact feelings. Thank you for such a wonderfully written posting. I am smiling at you!
Thank you for your kind words
Thank you for this blog! My husband and I, due to his work have the incredible fortune of having choices for where our next move will be. We’re narrowing down from a short-list of two other very different locations: Central Europe and South East Asia.
Lord willing, we are expecting our first in December and we plan to have at least one more child, maybe two, so taking into account how children fair in these places is of the utmost importance.
We are also the owners of a very friendly medium sized brown dog. Do you happen to know anything about the practicality of dog ownership in Nairobi?
Thank you again!
Everyone has dogs where I live in Karen. The practically of pet ownership really depends on where you will base yourself. As with any location, inner city accommodation has less space for a pet, in karen, runda, you can find spacious gardens with lots of land.
With regards children, in Kenya you will be able to afford childcare / house help very cheaply, so if this is important to you then consider this a bonus. Thanks
I agree that living in most sub-saharan African countries as an expatriate offers this freedom to both adults and children which is exhilarating and relaxing to the soul at the same time. However I’ve also aware it comes from a place of great privilege to live this lifestyle, being able to send children to fee paying schools, have 4×4 cars, housing in safe neighborhoods, insurance, travel around the country, fly home etc. It is not obtainable to many. Living in this community it can feel like this privilege is for the majority but really it is such a small minority enjoying this lifestyle, a much more comfortable lifestyle than they would elsewhere in the world.
I totally agree. I am lucky enough to live a privledged life here in Africa. The blog was written as an expat sharing my experiences of expat life. Not of all Africa/ or all Kenyans.
A lovely piece of writing, and so true. Kenya has a special place in my heart as I lived there for a couple of years, and married my Peace Corps husband there (a long time ago!). We’ve lived in a number of developing countries, and there is no doubt that on of the greatest gifts and education you can give your children is the exposure to other cultures and the opportunity to live in places other than the commercialized west. Your kids are lucky!
Thank you… thsi has been the most divisive piece I have ever written. Glad that some people can also see Kenya from my point of view
Yikes. Lots of stereotypes about “Africa” in here. No playgrounds? Less fashion and social media? ????♀️????♀️????♀️????♀️????♀️
Considerably less fashion when compared to the UK. I am comparing my experiences as an expat with that of my home country. Im not saying no fashion/ no social media simply less. Not just where I live in Karen but in Kenya as a whole. There are no outdoor playgrounds where i live. LIterally none.In the UK there is a playground on almost every street corner
ahhh, the simple life. ain’t it great? let’s destroy a country by colonizing it, and then move there to live without the stress of modernity.
First of all I totally agree with your thoughts on colonialism. I think it was a series of attrocities that has been swept under the carpet and that took more from local countries than it gave. However, it wasnt me that colonised Kenya. We didnt get a free pass to come here, we worked hard to get a job here, my husband works 15 hours days to stay here. Would you prefer I had written a blog about the negative aspects of Kenya. Is it so wrong to move to another country and write a love letter to it. One, cant win, it seems
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Thank you for this wonderful view of life in Kenya. My wife has been offered a teaching position in Nairobi and we have an 8 year old boy who has asthma.
I was wondering if pollution was a problem? We would be based near the US embassy there? Thank you in advance for any information
HI sorry i missed this. I am not sure, i know there are kids here who have asthma. I dont feel like pollution is a huge problem but im not qualified to answer. You could google Karen surgery – i know they have an email address you could message them on?