Recently it occurred to me that I write a lot about what I’m getting wrong in parenting and not much about what I’m doing right. There are lots of ways I try to be a better parent. Whilst I’m naturally a glass half empty kinda chap, I figure I must be doing something right as my kids are alive, healthy and happy.
I didn’t pop a kid out and get all the answers magically delivered to me by the stork. Nope although I’ve lived all my mummy life miles away from my family, I had a lot of help along the way. I couldn’t have managed with 3 kids without some amazing people and their fantastic advice. Here are the things that have really worked for me over last 6 years.
Mummy’s Shop
Mummy’s shop is a sneaky way of negotiating with the kids for them to behave how Id like them to behave and do a list of every day chores.
Our kids go to ‘Mummys shop’ every evening.
At Mummys Shop you have the opportunity to earn points to spend on things.
We have a jar small toys and penny sweets which they can ‘buy’ if they have enough points OR they can choose to save up for something they really want.
NB: All three kids have eschewed the sweetie jar and been saving for some Lego for two months now.
The points are earned through a list of chores. At the moment our list is:
· Make bed
· Clean bedroom/pick up toys
· No Tantrums
· Brush teeth
· Exercise
· Job for mummy ‘random chore (see below)
The list changes all the time. That’s the beauty. Things such as ‘take your plate to the sink after supper’ or ‘pick up toys in the toy room’ are now ingrained into their psyche and I don’t have to bribe reward them any longer.
Chores
I don’t want my kids to be the one who goes to University
and doesn’t know how to cook or turn on a washing machine so I’m big on setting them age appropriate chores. Here is a list that I’ve been referring to since they were two. https://thehappyhousewife.com/home-management/age-appropriate-chores-for-kids-printable/
Important to note that I don’t expect them to do all of these every day. I try to make as many as possible part of their routine – usually but introducing them in ‘Mummys Shop’.
‘Top Dog’
My kids are born so close together that they are practically triplets and fight all the time. The best thing I ever did was start ‘Top Dog’.
Simply, each person is Top Dog in rotation. Top Dog gets to be the boss. They choose what’s on TV, they get to sit in the best seat in the car, pick what they have for supper. Anything that is the cause of an argument is settled by the immortal words ‘who is top dog?’.
Top Dog is the boss kid. This tip works like a charm.
Be a Good Role Model
Apologise when I get it wrong.
When I lose my cool. I always, always offer the kids a proper apology. This way I show them how they should do it too when they make a mistake.
Be loving.
I hug and kiss and tell my kids and hubby that I love them all the time. I want my children to grow up in
a household filled with love and affection and to have the same kind of household when they grow up.
a household filled with love and affection and to have the same kind of household when they grow up.Ask my children about their day, every day.
I want them to know that I care about them and that I’m interested in how their days went. This means I spent an inordinate amount of time listening to how they played My little Ponies at break time or spent art class drawing a Batman base. But it also means I know about all the things that make them sad as well as happy and I can be there to comfort them. I like to think we have no secrets.
Be exuberantly proud of their achievements.
I make a big deal out of all the things they do well. My eldest is so hard on himself. He responds best to praise and support and knowing this makes me more effusive when he gets things right. I try to tell all my kids every day that I’m proud of them. If they don’t get it right, that’s ok too, they can just keep trying their best.
Live a little greener.
It started with the water shortage when we lived in Cape Town. The kids are hot on saving water. Now we are trying to use less plastic as a family. Grow our own veggies, keep chickens and generally live a little more responsibly.
I’m not the greenest in the same way that I’m not the greatest mum, but I’m a firm believer in a little goes a long way.
Anyone else have any tips or tricks. Please let me know.